He Loves Me He Loves U Not

I went thru a lot of titles for this post.  Originally, I wanted it to be something like "Try Sleeping in a Broken Home," which is a call to my no-makeup wearing warbly little bird Alicia Keys but I might be coming down with the flu so I'm a little tired and not in the mood to read her keyboard-ass.  So I took the easy way out and titled it a random song with the word "love" in it because, guess what, it's Valentine's Day!  Who cares? On this day of love I thought I'd bring you to a place that I hold near and dear to my heart.  Do I even need to speak his name… Ronald? 😏

Actually though, this McDonalds sucks.  This is the one on Fullerton and Halsted and let me tell you it is NOT the fancy new McDonalds next door to my apartment on Diversey.  A little shout out to them: they've never once not rolled their eyes at me when I come in exactly 1 minute before they close and they've also never not sassed me when I use one of my many free value meal cards, but BOY do they deliver.  This McDonalds served me gray chicken last Thursday night, aw how cute!!  But I just couldn't stay away, what with their beautiful Valentine's Day decorations!  I mean, just check out those paper hearts!! 

This was a big weekend for me.  The big 2-5.  15 years till 40!!  How fun!  Some tropical house at Concord Music Hall, some cool steam getting blown in my face at Prysm Nightclub, and a night in Boystown, after what felt like a mini Chicago vacation I thought I'd take it easy on Valentine's Day.  I know you were probably expecting me to have a lot of romantic pla… oh JK you know I'll be sitting on my recliner chair eating maybe-cooked frozen chicken burrito bowls from Trader Joe's even though it just hurts my stomach more and more  with each bite!  You know when you're in middle school or high school and you look around your room and you think, "Huh, maybe I've outgrown my childhood room."  Well, as I sit here with a Harry fucking Potter wand on a bookshelf and a Little Mermaid fireplace I think maybe 25 is the year I'll grow the fuck up and not be such a loser.  But probably not ;)

I've never been one to layer, more like I'm one to put on some American Eagle jeans, a Disneyland sweatshirt and some dumb sneakers.  Speaking of dumb sneakers, do you recognize these dumb sneakers?  How many blog posts can I continue to wear these in?  Let's keep score!  But back to layering.  Recently I've been trying to step my looks up and I got some good advice to layer these pieces together.  It's a pink H&M button up (but nobody needs to know that) under a sweatshirt from American Apparel (RIP).  The jeans ARE actually American Eagle.  Remember how I said I need to grow up and get out of my high school style.  Well I guess it's all about mixing and matching your garbage pieces so that they don't look like garbage Kansas outlet mall purchases.  I actually do really love these sunglasses I got from Banana Republic a couple years ago, so see I'm not hopeless!  The jean jacket, is, you guessed it, my mom's and no she's not getting it back!

With style like mine, any guy would be lucky to get with this!  Literally, any guy.  Anybody actually.  This is a cry for help and attention.  I guess you could say this whole blog is.  I've currently hit the quota of swipes that you can swipe on Tinder, which is really cute and not desperado at all.  It literally just shows a pulsing circle and says "There's no one new around you."  How comforting.  The last two Tinder dates I went on were really INCREDIBLE I thought I'd share a little about them with you today!  One guy I went on a date with wasn't out to his family and the entire conversation turned into a therapy session.  Actually a nice guy and I wish him well but not what this crazy little slut was looking for!!  Not at all!  My personal fave was a guy who came to meet me at my apartment so we could walk around Lincoln Park for a bit.  Cute idea, except it started POURING rain as soon as he got here.  Stuck in my apartment I asked what he wanted to eat and he decided that it would be really cute to run across the street and pick up a pizza from Papa Johns.  So here I am on a shitty day, on a shitty date, eating a shitty pizza.  We had nothing in common and also he had tourettes.  Not judging just making an observation.  

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Ok, but a little bit of advice here.  I guess because it's Valentine's Day I'm feeling a little sentimental and it's just something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  Feel free to skip ahead to the last picture if you don't give a fuck. The best relationships I have been in have blossomed from friendships and they were always, ALWAYS  a surprise to me.  Probably because my brain is a flat-lined "beeeeeeeep" but it's tended to be a common theme in my life.  I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like thinking you have a certain "type" is quite frankly bullshit.  Of course, to each his own, but why not open yourself up a little, it may surprise you.  This wouldn't be a lifestyle blog if I didn't tell you how to live your life!?  Wow, how gay was that?  Scale from 1-10.  DM me with your answer and also a dick pic.  Happy Valentine's Day!

May your buttons be as loose as your butt hole,

Love, Peacoats and Poppers

 pics by Stephen Aaron

pics by Stephen Aaron