Go, Go Gadget Gay Sex!

Oh wow, a gay guy writing about Grindr in his gay ass blog.  How trite!  If you aren't familiar, Grindr is an app for your phone that can find you the scuzziest dick in your immediate area.  To put it gently.  I guess I could write one of those think pieces about how bad Grindr is for the gay community and how it's tearing our society apart and blah blah blah.  Nah.  I'm currently on my sixth time re-downloading Grindr within the past couple years.  It's common for me to think to myself, "Connor, you are better than this!  You don't need old men to build up your confidence by begging to smell your dirty feet!"  But if we all take a moment to be honest with each other, who doesn't want to be solicited to be used as a dirty sex pig!

Personally, the most I've ever found on Grindr was a broken bottle.  Didn't think that's what I was gonna say, did you?  This was a couple years back in Boston so it SHOCKS me that I remember it at all.  This guy came over and we smoked a little, talked a little and before literally anything remotely — he whipped his coat off and right into the empty wine bottle sitting on the side table near my bed and it literally shattered all over the floor.  Needless to say, that ruined the mood and he was shown the door.  After he swept up the glass of course.  I mean, I wasn't the one who broke it…  In today's post I've realized the importance of having a good belt.  Something that I don't have.  See the picture above.  Looks good doesn't it?

But mostly on Grindr I get offers of up to $100 for a blowjob.  Do you think I have a fledgeling career as a hooker?  I'd probably be able to afford nicer shoes.  I think that I wore these Steve Maddens' to my senior year prom in high school.  Here's a little shocker for ya, I actually got asked to prom by a guy my senior year!  Look at that!  Does that surprise you?  It should!  It was actually a guy who was on the school news team and was doing a story about me for the Senior Edition of the "Husky Headlines".  He was filming me in class when he asked me out with a sign that folded out from under the camera.  I, however, was blind as a bat, refusing to wear my glasses in high school to not look like a loser, so I didn't know what was going on promptly ignored it for a good 5 minutes until somebody pointed it out to me.  We went to prom together and then when I tried to make out with him in the basement before the after party he got nervous and left.  He's married to a woman now and I'm still a loser.

Did you know I went to Catholic school from Kindergarten to Freshmen year of high school?  A lot of good that did me!  Still gay as fuck.  We had a uniform and everything.  Which is probably where I picked up this white v neck sweater.  Its from OLD NAVY.  I think that is actually the trashiest thing I've said on here and I've said a lot of trashy things.  But it doesn't LOOK Old Navy!  Right? …  Does it really matter where a piece is from if you're just a piece of shit anyway.

Remember when I talked about thrifting in the last post?  Well I thrifted this Zara blazer at Buffalo Exchange for 15 dollars imagine that.  That's cheaper than a blowjob on Grindr!!  Full circle!  I recently have added this blazer, along with a blue one and a black one, into my closet and they certainly make me feel sophisticated and older but actually  when do I ever wear them.  I walk dogs and work at a gym.  Who do I think I'm getting all dressed up for??  Maybe my next Grindr date?  But I think he'll probably be into my dirty feet than this cute plaid blazer.  Till next time, folks!

May your buttons be as loose as your butt hole,

Love, Peacoats and Poppers

 pics by @stephen_aaron

pics by @stephen_aaron