(Bath)Room feat. Brie Larson

 I should really work out.  But I won't.  Those shoes are from 8th grade.

I should really work out.  But I won't.  Those shoes are from 8th grade.

For my second post I thought I'd take you to my favorite place in my apartment to wake up in.  If you aren't using your bath towel as a comforter than what fun are you, really?  The great thing about bathrooms are that they're everywhere!  I've spent many Friday nights touring club bathrooms in and around Chicago.  If I don't make it to the bathroom, there's always a cup to throw up in!  Just ask the staff at Holiday Club.

If you want to look even more emaciated than you are: wear all black!  It's slimming and and it makes you look like a floating head.  Sexy!  Mysterious!  Now the club bathroom's not only your personal puke pit but also the setting for your next blowjob.  Glow sticks make for great accessories.  Don't have a glow stick?  Find someone who does, ask them if you can take a picture with it, and now it's yours!  Easy!

 My go-to cocktail; 1 part antiseptic Listerine, 3 parts vodka and a tear in my eye.

My go-to cocktail; 1 part antiseptic Listerine, 3 parts vodka and a tear in my eye.

True story about the beads in this picture:  they came from a party I went to with my two friends.  Let's call them Cumdump and Dickgrease for the sake of anonymity.  Dean, whoops I mean Dickgrease, and I were having our usual night of dinner and drinks (by which I mean vodka and naan bread from Trader Joe's) when Cumdrump texted me and said that he was at a office party for a company he doesn't work for.  Open bar!  Being the yes man that I am, we walked in and told people "we know the birthday boy!"  To which they responded, "it's not a birthday party!"  Any party can be your party if you make it, remember that friends. 

 This bath bomb from Lush is called Starry Night or something gay like that.

This bath bomb from Lush is called Starry Night or something gay like that.

I threw this Lush bath bomb into the toilet because tbh that's where it belongs!  Fuck baths.

May your buttons be as loose as your butt hole, 

Love, Peacoats and Poppers

 Photos by Taylor Martin

Photos by Taylor Martin